Glimpse into 7th Grade - Take 4 (Final)

I wrote the following autobiography in my 7th grade Honors English class at Jefferson Jr. High School (in Kearns, UT). This will be the final piece of your glimpse into 7th grade. As you'll discover, I disliked both of my sisters (although the younger definitely had the brunt of my hatred). Glad our differences have all been sorted out. :)

Oh, and as a side note, my wife just looked at the picture I posted below and said, "Man, you were so hot! I would have followed you all over the school!" Yes, she was being sarcastic. Yes, I know I was goofy lookin'. And yes, girls did follow me all over the school, but not because they wanted my body. They had a very different agenda in mind.

7th Grade

MY AUTOBIOGRAPHY

(typos left uncorrected)

I live a Frustrating life with my brother and two snotty sisters. One of my sisters named Angela is five years older than I am. My other sister is the baby of the family. She gets everything just the way she wants it and me and my brother, named Lonnie, who is four years older than me, always end up getting in trouble for it. My parents named this spoiled brat Melanee. She is two years younger than I am and thinks she can do whatever she wants. which my parents, who are Debra and Allen, practically tell her she can.

Now, on to my life. The furthest thing back that I can remember is when I was about four years old. My mom and I were on the way to the doctor and I didn't know what was going on. I thought we were just going for a visit and did not know I was about to get a shot. I remember that I had an eye test and they took my blood pressure and stuff. Then they made me sit in a room which seemed to last forever.

Finally, a doctor came inside and tried to act real nice to me so I wouldn't be scared that he would hurt me when he gave me the shot. Still I remained normal and not suspicious. It was when he got out the gauss pad and started rubbing my arm that I started getting suspicious. When he finally got out the needle I went crazy.

First, I went down to my mom and begged her to protect me. She just told me to be brave.

Then, I ran up to the table again and screamed, telling them to stay away from me. It took four nurses to hold me while they gave me the shot and I didn't even feel the shot because I was so busy screaming and whining. [I also want to insert here that they chased me out of the room, up and down the hallway, then back into the room before they finally caught me. That's why there were four nurses by the time they gave me the shot.]

A very scary thing that happened in my life was when I was in fourth grade. My dad's whole family and their children had a family reunion at Seven Peaks Resort Water Park. Lonnie and I went on the huge slides for about an hour then we decided to go to the wave pool. We stayed in there for a while, but then Lonnie wanted to go on the slides again. So he left and I went to find someone to go in the wave pool with. I ended up finding my cousin named Ricky, who is two years younger than me, and we got some tubes and went to the wave pool. When we got there the waves weren't going, so, we decided just to go to the deep end until the waves start to go again. I guess Ricky started to get bored or something and started to try something out of his mind because he couldn't swim. He tried to stand up on his tube without falling off which I had already told him not to. Of course, he fell off, and I ended up having to save him.

He was thrashing around, so, I knew that I would have to dive under him and hold him up until someone noticed he was drowning. So I took a deep breath and dove down as far as I could and pushed him up by his feet. Finally after what seemed about forty-five seconds, my other cousin Sheldon came and lifted him back up onto his tube.

12th Grade

When I finally got up, I climbed up onto my tube and collapsed.I never went into the wave pool again that day.

[Another note: This experience is what later led me to become an outdoor pool lifeguard for 3 years. I had the sexiest tan ever!]

Also see:
Glimpse into 7th Grade - Take 1
Glimpse into 7th Grade - Take 2
Glimpse into 7th Grade - Take 3

Glimpse into 7th Grade - Take 3

My life in 7th grade was a trial, to say the very least. I didn't have many friends. In fact, even my sibling closest in age was my enemy. The following was the biography I wrote for her in my 7th grade Honors English class at Jefferson Jr. High School (in Kearns, UT). I'll give this disclaimer in advance... Melanee and I get a lot MUCH better nowadays. When I look back, I can't even recall what made me so vengeful. *sigh*

BIOGRAPHY - MELANEE JAMES

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Melanee James was born on September 17. She is my little sister and is a pain in the butt. She is always whining and cries for the stupidest reasons. One time she was acting really snotty so I took the responsibility to get her to be quiet and yelled at her to shut up and she started balling her head off and I got in trouble for it.

Right now, she is in fifth grade and thinks she is the most popular girl in her class. But, whenever I tell other people that she told me that, she acts like she didn't say anything.

Melanee is about the worst liar I've ever seen. She tells us something that is impossible to happen and, no mater how obvious it is, she won't tell us what really happened. Like one time, she had a hoagie about 1 1/2' long and I told her she had to eat it all before she could play. So, I went downstairs to watch T.V. but came up in about 30 seconds because I couldn't hear her upstairs. When I got upstairs, she was outside playing. I knew she couldn't have eaten it that fast, so I tried to get her to admit that she didn't eat it. But as I said before, she wouldn't give in and just kept saying, "I just shoved it down really fast." So, I took drastic measures and checked the garbage and sure enough, there was the hoagie with only one bite in it.

This is my biography on Melanee James.

Also see:
Glimpse into 7th Grade - Take 1
Glimpse into 7th Grade - Take 2
Glimpse into 7th Grade - Take 4 (Final)

There vs. Their vs. They're

There are three reasons I'm making this post and I'm directing it toward all of my grammatically challenged friends. They're the greatest people in the world, but their grasp on certain concepts is infuriating, like the differences between similar, but VERY different words. My first inclination was to find their childhood English teachers and paddle their butts for not doing their job to effectively teach their students that there are specific reasons to use specific words. Don't get me wrong. I appreciate teachers and all of their efforts. I'm a junior high teacher myself. I just thought, "If they're not going to clarify things in their classrooms over there, how they're expecting their students to succeed is beyond my comprehension." Then I realized that some people have chosen to close their minds. No amount of effort by anyone will penetrate their stubborn barriers of ignorance. You won't become one of those people, right? You'll listen to all there is to learn about grammar, right? Good. There, that should do it.

(they're = "they are")
(their = possessive)
(there = everything else)

Insight Cover progression

As many of you know, I have been writing Beholders since 2008. Since then, many different prototypes of cover designs for Insight have emerged. I want to share this design evolution with you. They are listed below chronologically. Feel free to laugh. I know I did (don't forget you can click on any of these to see an enlarged version).

Created by Scott Humphries

 

Created by Scott Humphries

Created by Kip Ayers

Sooo... you're probably wondering which version makes it onto the book being released Summer 2013. The answer is, none of them. I, for one, am especially excited to see the final design from Jolly Fish Press. Just another thing to look forward to next year.

I tell you, 2013 is going to be a GREAT year!

It's Official!

I just realized that I haven't made an official announcement about my querying process with Jolly Fish Press. This semester at the University of Utah has been kicking my butt (as far as my free time goes), but it's finally over. I grovel before you and beg your forgiveness for neglecting you so long.

There... now that I've gotten that out of the way, on to the good news. On March 28, 2012, I signed a 4-book contract with Jolly Fish Press for Beholders. Huzzah!

Let me put something in perspective that I've learned this year. I've done my fair share of querying in the past and received a slough of rejection letters. Some were more hurtful than others. All of them chinked away at my self-confidence. That being said, it wasn't until I found JFP that I realized how important a successful relationship is between author and publisher. Every aspect of my interaction and correspondence with JFP jives at a spine-tingling level. Connecting with them was a perfect storm. Don't worry, friends. Your time will come, too. Just keep your eyes on the heavens.

Now back to Beholders. You can read JFP's publicity release by clicking here, but if you're too impatient to move your cursor over the hyperlink and force down the button on your mouse, let me summarize. Basically, it says Insight will be released Summer 2013. The next three books in the series will be released each subsequent year (True Sight in Summer 2014, Hindsight in Summer 2015, and Foresight in Summer 2016). I've already received my first wave of edits from JFP and let me tell you. It will be worth the wait. Insight is improving far beyond what I ever could have hoped to do by myself. As I insinuated before, my relationship with JFP is a match made in heaven.

You're vs. Your vs. Yore

You're going to drive me crazy with your inability to distinguish between you're and your. Medieval knights of yore had a greater command of the English language. Are you hearing the words coming out of my mouth? Are they penetrating your ears? You're going to remember, now, right, or will this info slip out of your memory again?

(If this post was helpful, please leave a comment!)